My Ex and I

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The way you perceive the world would taint how you take pictures.

Two days ago, I told one of my closest friends about this blog. Her initial reaction was like, “Wow! You have a new blog — again? Actually, you take better pictures than your ex, who claims that she likes photography.” While I was taken by surprise because my ex was mentioned, I felt that what she said was true; my ex only says she is passionate about it. In truth, she can’t push through with it, even when I was there to support her with all my heart. My friend continued to say that my ex’s photos didn’t have appeal and that she really don’t know how to take pictures. It got me thinking for a short time. Why do people say that about the photographs that she shoots when she’s the one who has a better camera and some training to boot? Considering that the topic was my ex, I soon drifted off to other better ideas to think about.

The next day, a former friend and colleague went to the office to get some documents about her employment there, and we got to talking. During our chat, I mentioned that I have started this photoblog. Somehow, this other friend was able to steer the conversation toward my ex. Then, she suddenly blurted out her opinion about my ex: “Well, it can’t be helped. The way you perceive the world would taint how you take pictures.”

Maybe, that’s it. Maybe not. All I know is that when we were together, my ex-girlfriend only looked at her life like it wasn’t interesting. She couldn’t find things to smile about most of the time, and she even confessed that she didn’t know what she was passionate about. Those were some of the reasons why we didn’t work out. I’d hate to think that it’s also the reason why she’s not excelling in what she considers as her craft, too, but it sure sounds plausible.

Like what I said before, I don’t know much about photography, but I’m willing to learn. I can’t really say that my photographs are top notch, too, but I’m serious when I say that I’m passionate about capturing parts of my life using (a very crude) camera. I hope that my ex wouldn’t get to see this post, but if she does, she realizes that negativity and halfheartedness isn’t the way to go. It’s really facing life with smiling eyes and blazing passion to look for and claim the things that’ll make her happy.

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Appreciation and Affirmation

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I realize that I might not be good at photography — yet. Nevertheless, I know that I can do better, so while I’m learning, I’ll compensate with what’s native to me — words. It all started with “monkeys go bananas for.. bananas!” Actually, it started when I started this conversation with angelicamereu:

Passenger on Foot says: Hi! Thanks for frequently visiting my blog! Sorry that it took me this long to go to yours, and boy! How I wish I got here sooner! The monkey’s fur seems to melt with the background. It looks almost surreal, but I’m not sure if that’s the right word. A picture is worth a thousand words; somehow, that one out of that thousand eludes me. I hope you get how much I like this photograph!

angelicamereu says: thank you so much, i’m really stunned, it’s great to read your words!! wow! and thx!!!

Passenger on Foot says: Ok, I think I now have the right ones: prismatic aura.

That’s it! 😀

angelicamereu says: wow, great definition!

Then, I browsed through angelicamereu’s blog and found “blue bird,” and continued the conversation here:

Passenger on Foot says: Are you based in Africa?

In my other comment, I got lost for words, but this time, I have more than “beautiful” to comment. It’s dlight-fully iridescent! Again, amazing!

angelicamereu says: no, i just spent 3 weeks in south africa last june, my guts and dreams are still there! and wow again, i love your comments, really appreciate it. i can’t find the words to tell you how much, so, just thx!!!

Passenger on Foot says: I see! Well, congratulations for having the ability to travel! I’m afraid that I’m locked in my location at the moment, but I’m trying to find good things to post and photograph.

I more a writer than a photographer (gulps at the brash declaration). I like alliteration, too. That’s why! Followed your awesome eye and perspective!

They have emotional charges — electric even — the same stuff that makes our hearts beat, making us feel alive. Alive to revel in each other’s brilliance, which is really how we can proceed in our journey through life.

Judging from her replies, I think that she was smiling when she typed them in — I’m certainly hoping so. When I comment on other people’s blogs, I always try to elaborate on how they touched me because I know that it will make them happy. I know that it’ll motivate them to keep on doing what they do. I know that it’ll inspire them to do better. I know this to be true because I feel the same electrifying and exhilarating feeling after reading comments on my own blog. Am I that different from other people to be the only one to feel this? I don’t think so. In fact, I think that at the core, we’re all wanting the same thing — affirmation, if not love.

By sharing this post, I hope to send a message to everyone: use your words when you well up with emotions, especially if you liked it. While I’m really wired for writing words, anyone can do it as long as the comments are written with sincerity. More than the like button, which is a recent invention to express affirmation, words have been around for ages. They have emotional charges — electric even — the same stuff that makes our hearts beat, making us feel alive. Alive to revel in each other’s brilliance, which is really how we can proceed in our journey through life.


After drafting this post, I got replies from other bloggers, specifically Lisa and Jav3d, and I’m glad that I was able to express my appreciation for their works sincerely.

Will and Willingness

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It might not have been bravery — my declaration that I’ll start a photoblog. It may have been brashness. What do I know about photography? Point and shoot. The rule of thirds. Perspective. Framing. That’s about it. All the rest is like a statistics book; I know it has a lot of useful information for me to learn, understand, and apply, but I haven’t accessed it yet.

I think that I have the will and the willingness to see this through.

I know that I have limitations, so please pardon me if I can’t work on getting a better camera yet. Got to pay the bills first, especially my mom’s medication, so I’ll focus first on technique before the technology.Good thing that I’m willing to learn. I hope that you — my awesome visitors — could help this amateur learn. What works in my snapshots? Why? What doesn’t? How can I make it better? What tips can you give me? Oh! You can even give me an assignment and check my work. That might be fun.

I really hope that you can help me turn my brashness into beautiful photography. I think that I have the will and the willingness to see this through. And if you help me, I would be grateful from the bottom of my camera apps.

Tipping the Tug-o-War

A lot of ugly things happen in the world, but that won’t really stop you from choosing to live a happy life.

I’ve been playing tug-o-war with myself about making this blog. On the left side, I have my sinister self telling me, “What’s the use of making a new blog? You can’t even keep your online  portfolio going?” On the other side, I have my other self, the kinder me, whispering, “It’s fine. You need this; you’ll be happier if you had an avenue to vent.” Since you’re reading this, you should know who won, but is that really interesting to read? What’s more interesting — at least, for me — is how it happened.

Earlier, I was talking to my friend whom I’ve known for about a decade already, and she was saying that she’s frustrated with everything and everyone around her; she said that she wanted a lot more from life, her friends, and people in general. It’s all for understandable reasons, really. She got mugged and nearly raped. The day after that, her moocher friend inconsiderately asked her to fetch said moocher somewhere; as it turns out, the moocher stepped on a sea urchin and can’t get home without help. A lot of things made her upset, and she went on a tirade of other complaints that I’ll summarize neatly as “etc.”

I already had a long day when we were talking. I had to go to my mom who was in the hospital. I had to endure an hour’s worth of traffic just to come in late for work. On top of that, I had to resist the urge to slap people in the office senseless with a dead cockroach because they weren’t thinking straight. Luckily, I couldn’t find a dead cockroach. Believe me, I was already at the part where the fat lady sings and shatters all the crystal wine glasses.

Instead of launching an avalanche of my own angst on her, I gave her my version of bluntness, which is really more like a cross between diplomacy, the Dalai Lama, and a dash of content analysis. I said:

You know what, D.? You have all the right reasons to be frustrated with the world, but what’s your problem, really? Earlier, you said that you want something more from life, but will you really get that if you’re looking at everything except for what will make you happy. If you say you want to be better, happier, then start looking at what you have that will make you happy. Then, look for more around you. It’s as easy as looking at the annoying things in life. You just have to choose to look the other way rather than dwell on the depressing. A lot of ugly things happen in the world, but that won’t really stop you from choosing to live a happy life.

Actually, I didnt say it like that; that’s just how I remembered what I said. Anyway, she said thank you to me and told me that she had to go off to the gym for boxing. I sincerely hope that she listened to what I said. I certainly did listen to what I told her, which is why I have this new blog. It’s the final factor that my kinder self used to win that tug-o-war that has raged on since last week.